Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Give Expecting Nothing in Return

Once mistake I think we make when giving, is expecting the return on that investment to come immediately. I think if you want to Give Your Way To Success, you need to give freely, expecting nothing in return. That's hard.

Maybe you have heard of the Rule of Reciprocity. It's a great and powerful rule that says if you do something (or give something) to someone, there is an urge for them to return the favor. It's cultural and often subconscious.

The problem with this rule is sometimes when we expect the reciprocity and don't get it...we get annoyed. It's understandable. We just did something nice for you. Why are you not doing something nice for me?

But if we "give" this way we are not really giving. Think of it this way. We have discussed on this blog that the universe gives you back what you put out. But if you give with expectations in return you are actually saying "Give me." The universe will respond with "Give me."

So Give Freely to others. Reach out in kindness with no expecation in return today. Think of someone in your professional life and give them a referral. Send a friend you haven't talk to a while a card. Send your spouse flowers. But don't expect anything in return. Enjoy that feeling. It will come back to you someday when you least expect it!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Give Yourself Permission to Fail

Most of us have a passion we have always wanted to pursue. Most of us often have ideas of things we want to try. But some simply won't take the action necessary to start. There are many reasons for this...but the main one is fear of failure.

If you want to make significant changes in your life and live your passion, you must take action. "If it's to be, it's up to me." You know this. But in taking action you must also understand that not every idea is going to work. Not every action will lead to success. But successful people understand and accept this. They understand that failure is an inevitable and necessary part of the equation.

Each time you take a step that doesn't work you learn how to get where you need to go! But as Seth Godin says in his book "The Dip" you need to learn to fail fast! Once you understand that this idea or action is not going to work, don't delay. Move onto the next idea. The sooner you do, the sooner you get to the idea that DOES work!

So GIVE yourself permission to fail. The sooner you do, the sooner you GIVE yourself permission to succeed!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Give Change a Chance

Most people would agree that nothing great can come unless something changes. In order to create something that is better than what we have now, it has to change. We know that on an intellectual level.

But why is it then that many folks fear change so much? The new Facebook layout has caused more stir than a terrorist attack in another country. It may be a bit annoying for things to move around on a website, but is it really THAT big of a deal? Should they really be doing a story about it on the Today show?

If you want to succeed, learn to look for the best in change. Learn to seek it out! Nothing great comes without change. Let the greatness come from you!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Give Praise

If you are like many of us, it is not difficult going through your day finding someone (or something) to criticize. There are many things in our life that frustrate us. So when we encounter something that does not meet our expectations (whether they are realistic or not) we complain. And sometimes that is not only okay, it is necessary.

The problem with this is a huge percentage of the population has taken this as their default position. They criticize constantly, without any suggestions on improvement. They complain without volunteering to help. We know we have all done it from time to time.

So today let's shift that thinking.

In the book Appreciation Marketing, the author tells of a time that he took his daughter and wife to brunch only to have a very bad experience. He went home and started to write a scathing letter to the offending restaurant telling them how bad they were and how embarrassed they should be. But he stopped. Instead he threw that letter away and sent a card to his favorite restaurant. He thanked them for always going above and beyond to make his dining experience fantastic.

The next time he came to his favorite restaurant he was met by a smiling manager, and the owner came out and greeted him. To this day, he says, he is always treated like a king in this place.

So he took a bad experience and sent out postive instead. Where can you do that today?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Give Thanks

I have often said that the most under-used words in business are "thank you." Unfortunately, I think this phenomonon is getting worse, not better. It's just tough with the fast-paced times that we live in. The bad news is, with email, twitter, smartphones, and Facebook, many of us have gotten to busy to appreciate.

The good news is, when you stop and take the time to say "thanks," you stand out.

In the book Appreciation Marketing, the authors remind us how our parents worked so hard to train us as children to say "please" and "thank you." They say that now we might get tired of hearing "please" from our kids (and other kids) we never tiring of hearing "thank you." As a matter of fact, can you remember the last time you heard a well-trained child say "thanks" without needing prompting? Remember how impressed you were?

You can make that type of impact with your adult clients and friends by doing "thank you" right. Be on the look out for reasons to say thanks. If you are in the right frame of mind, you will see lots of reasons during the day to reach out. And guess what? This exercise will not only help lift the spirits of those you appreciate, but it will also lift your spirits as well. By being in an appreciative state of mind, you will see the good things in life first!

So here are your Thank You To Do's:

1) Be on the look out for those to Thank each day.
2) Make it a Habit to do each day.
3) Create a system so you don't forget!
4) Send a Card or Gift to show your appreciation!

If you want the system that my wife and I use, you can check out www.sendoutcards.com/100300. If not, create one of your own! This is a great way to improve your personal and professional life. Thanks for reading this! I appreciate you!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Give Out Good...Get Good Back

I think most of us understand that if we Give out Good, we will get good back. It's just the way the universe works. We understand it. But many of us don't live it. I think this rule is often best illustrated with teenagers.

My daughter and my wife were butting heads recently, and I decided to have a "chat" with my daughter. So I told her that I was going for a run and asked her to ride her bike along. She agreed. It took her about ten minutes into the ride before she realized she'd been duped!

Teenagers often struggle with the transition of roles between child and adult. They want the rights of adults, but sometimes are not ready. And often when they don't get their way, they go back to acting like a child (some adults do this too!). The problem is, these teens don't understand that they often control this destiny more than they know. When they spew anger and contempt to parents or authority figures, they most likely get that same emotion back. It's only natural. But when they show maturity and positivity, we are more likely to trust they will act appropriately when a moment of choice arises.

I tried to explain this to my daughter on a long run around town. To her credit she was quiet and listened. She acted with some maturity. So I gave her trust back.

But what does this mean for adults? I hope the message is clear. You truly do get back what you put out there folks. And if you give out "good" in large or small ways you will see a great return on that investment. What kind of good? Start with a smile! Give the person on the street, in the store, or even on the phone a smile and watch the smiles in front of your multiply! Now add this philosophy to Facebook world! It works there too! If all you do is post about the problems, challenges and complaints in your life, more will show up. So seek out things to be positive about and "give out that good" everywhere.

So let's get out into the world and give out good. We are likely to get it back!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Give Yourself A Challenge

If you want to not only succeed in your professional life, but also to lead a fulfilling personal life, make sure to Give Yourself Challenges! These can sometimes be easy to find in the professional life arena, but make sure you are looking at home too!

I just finished the Warrior Dash (www.warriordash.com) and I must say, that was a challenge! What a fun day though. If you are unfamiliar, the Warrior Dash is a 3 to 4 mile trail race...but with LOTS of fun and crazy obstacles. There were walls to climb over, tires to run through and even fire to jump over! And the final 25 yards, participants had to crawl through 2 feet of mud to get to the finish line. It was intense!

But what an experience!

At the end of the race I was tired (and today I am sore) but it challenged me to dig deep! (On a side note, the course taught me that I have let myself get out of cardio shape...so I need to improve that. That's okay. Those are the things we learn as we challenge ourselves).

The course was extremely hilly and muddy so it was tough to keep trucking. But at the end all of the participants had a huge feeling of satisfaction that they "did that."

Those are the kinds of experiences that make us stronger. So give yourself a challenge...and don't give up until you make it happen!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Give Yourself Permission to Dream

It’s time to work out those dream muscles folks! Unfortunately, many of us have forgotten how to dream. We have been told repeatedly by well-meaning loved ones that we should “be realistic” or “sensible.” These are loved ones who simply don’t want to see us be disappointed or hurt. But they are wrong.

No great thing came into the world without a big dream. No great thing can come without a little bit of risk of disappointment. But giving yourself permission to dream is the only way to truly drive the subconscious toward what you want.

I am a big believer in the power of the subconscious. This is the personal computer inside each of us that works (without our knowledge) 24 hours a day. And it’s important to note that the subconscious mind does not know what is real or not real. So…it’s vitally important that you are “feeding” this part of your brain with “good thoughts.”

I was out golfing with some family recently. One of the better golfers of the group continued to sabotage himself throughout the round. He was get over the ball and say “Okay…don’t hook this.” So of course he would hook his shot. Then he would say, “Don’t leave this putt short.” So he would leave it short. After about 9 holes of this I pointed out to him that he should stop saying the thing he didn’t want to happen right before he hit. He dismissed me out of hand. And quite honestly that is a normal reaction I get. But do you think it’s any coincidence that the last thing he told his brain is what he did?

That is why it is so important to DREAM again! Start feeding your subconscious mind these things that you DO want before you go to bed and when you wake up!
As I have also said before…write these goals down! This is such an important step! So few people actually take this into action. That is why so few people are living the life they desire!

Finally, when you are “feeding” these into your mind, make sure you do so in the present tense. “I am a magnet for money.” This tells the mind that it is already the case…and you will start living your life accordingly!

So now is the time. Give yourself permission to dream today! Close your eyes and imagine what the life of your dreams would look like? What do you see? What do you hear? Smell? Use all of the senses to create this perfect life in your mind.

Now get ready to go out and get it!