Doing What You HAVE To Do

The older I get the more I understand that MOST of life is not really black and white.  Most situations are sprinkled with shades of gray.  There are nearly always two sides to every story.  You CAN be both right and wrong.

Let me explain.

We have all been victim to those situations where someone is doing everything they have to do to help us.  They are standing just on that side of the line.  They have fulfilled all of the recommended requirements, they have checked their box, and they can look at you with the indignation that says "I am right.  I did everything I had too to help you."  They did their job.  They are right.  But it feels very wrong.

Why?  Because they didn't do all the COULD do.

Have you ever had that disinterested customers service person (often with the condescending attitude) who COULD be more helpful...but is not?  They are doing all they have to do.  Ever experienced the instructor that is watching a student on the edge of success and failure just watch the student fall over the edge?  Sure they could have helped...but they didn't HAVE too.

So how do you want to live your life?  How do you want to do your job?  How do you want to be remembered? 

Are you the person that does just what they HAVE to do?  Or are you the person, that when someone looks you in the eye and asks for help, jump in and do everything you can to help?

I know what everyone will say.  But what are you DOING to prove it today?

When To Quit

We have been trained that quitting is wrong.  And for the most part, I agree.  I have told my kids that once they start a "season" (whether sports, or dance or whatever) they must complete it.  I don't care if they start, but once they commit, they need to honor that commitment.

But not all quitting is the same.

I have walked away from several organizations in the past.  Some might call that quitting.  Maybe they are right.

On the other hand, what I have found, is that sometimes the dynamics and goals and personalities of organizations change.  So what might have been totally in alignment with my values and goals 5 years ago, might not be today.  Sometimes the personalities in the room change.  It's okay.  But when those values, personalities and cultures become inconsistent with my own, there can be unneeded friction.

Life's too short.

So I tend to look around the room and ask, "what is really important?"  What is the goal we are trying to accomplish here?  Is that what I am spending my mental energy on?

If the answer is no, it might be time to walk away.  It was for me.

Want to Be Awesome?

I recently attended a conference in the promotional products industry called "SkuCon."  It was a day (scheduled before a giant trade show in Vegas) designed to educate, collaborate and inspire.  The event was organized by a software company in the promotional products industry called Commonsku.

It was a great event...but that is not what this post is about.

The night we got to the event, my wife and I were able to meet the the owners of Commonsku at dinner.  Mark and Catherine Graham are not only clearly saavy, creative entrepreneurs, but also a dynamic husband and wife team...so we were excited to finally have this chance.

What struck me what how "important" they both made us feel.  Here we were, in a room full of their customers and friends, and both made a point of making time with us.

They made me feel awesome, so I thought they were awesome.

Consider that the next time you are with a prospect or client (or spouse, etc.).  Be "all in" on the conversation.  Don't check your phone.  Don't be looking around the room to see if there is a better conversation.  Make that person feel like the most important person in the room.

They will love you for it.

Take Responsibility for EVERYTHING

“If it’s to be it’s up to me.”

Let me paint a picture.  You are meeting with someone you are trying to help “grow” (either professionally or personally).  At this get together over coffee, they start to explain why they have not completed a few of the tasks the two of you have set out for them.  You patiently listen as they tell you that “there was not enough hours in the day,” or  “they don’t have the money” or “their team won’t get on board,” or whatever. 

What do you tell them? 

If you are being honest, you look them in the eye and say, “It’s your fault.”  You won’t want to say it.  They probably won’t want to hear it.  But it's true.

The fact is, if you want to lead a more successful life, you need to take responsibility for EVERYTHING.  You need to look in the mirror and own your own decisions.  In addition, figure out what you could have done to make that current situation better.   (This is not just my internal control freak speaking).

Of course there are things in your life that you cannot control.  But what good is that kind of thinking?  Do you want things to just “happen to you?”  Welcome to the life of the victim.   If you want to take control, look at each of these situations and understand that you have an impact.

Not enough hours?  What can YOU cut out of the schedule to get you more time?  Can you get up earlier?  Stay up later?  Stop watching TV?  Whatever.  Each are choices that you are making.  Want different results?  Make different choices.

Not enough money?  What can you do on the side to make some extra bucks?  Who do you know that can loan you the money?  Invest in the business?  What can you DO to impact this?

You get the idea.  At the end of the day, own your current situation (refer to my tips on mistakes here).  

If you do, you have the ability to change your future.  If not, you don’t.

Busy versus Selling

When you are in sales, it is really easy to get hung up on "being busy."  You have to attend meetings, go to training, read, check email, monitor social media, deal with management or team members, do research and prepare.  And you do need to do those things. 

The problem is, of course, none of those things is actually "selling." And nothing happens until something gets sold.  When sales professionals audit their time, most are shocked at how little actual "selling time" they have on their calendar.

So today (yes TODAY) make sure you focus on very specific activities that get you in front of your customers.  Be intentional about having real "selling time" on your calendar. Go and "see the people."

Better results will start to show up immediately.

Don't Brag About Ignorance

Every once in a while I will get in a conversation and someone will tell me “I never read.”  They say it like it’s a badge of honor.  I totally understand that “reading” is not for everyone.  But it’s a way to improve and grow and change.  (Side note, I didn’t just say “read books.”).

If you choose to be ignorant, that is your call.  But don’t brag about it.  The people you will impress with stupidity are not the ones you want on your side.

Don't Be Busy. Be Productive.

The most over-used word in the English language today is “Busy.”  It has become a default answer and a default excuse in our culture.  As my friend Danny Rosin has said, people wear it like a badge of honor.  “I’m busy” they say as if they are bragging. 

In addition, so much of the time, it is a complaint or an excuse.  “I would love to do something meaningful, but I’m busy.” It's BS.

The goal today should have nothing to do with “busy.”  Your goal should be to be “productive.”  It’s totally different. 

Side exercise:  Try to go for one full month without using the word “busy.”  The word has become so pervasive; it’s harder than you think!